Ballroom Dance > Experience at Arthur Murray and Questions about Indie Studios in DC

Discussion in 'Ballroom Dance' started by PhantomK91, Oct 4, 2017.

  1. SmoothAsian

    SmoothAsian New Member

    I don't mean to come off as bitter. I like Arthur Murray. They treat me well. I love dancing and I'm so glad I discovered it.

    However, I feel like I'm treated differently from the other students. Let me explain.

    The students at my dance school are usually older. By older, I mean in their 40s and 50s. And about 60% of the students are female. We all know it takes longer to train a male dancer at leading. A female beginner student will be able to dance pretty well in the hands of a skilled male lead but it takes a lot longer for a male lead to be able to lead effectively.

    There's only 2 other younger guys at my school. One of them is married. The other has a girlfriend. I'm the only guy who is single.

    I think my dance school knows this and tries to take advantage of it. I notice they periodically ask me how I'm doing and say encouraging words. I'm one of the clients who can potentially stay long-term and thus be one of their long-term customers.

    The female dance instructors are all physically attractive and I think it's part of the business model. They know they're attractive and they know single guys are vulnerable. Don't get me wrong. There are older male students who are in their 40s and 50s who are single as well but they tend to be the divorced type who are content being single. I'm not making assumptions here. I know cause I befriended some of the older male students at my school and they told me such.

    Also, I'm Asian so even though I'm 34 years old, I look like I'm 27.

    Again, I'm not trying to be pretentious or arrogant here. I just want to be treated like everyone else. But I find they pay special attention to the younger men who are single.
  2. Loki

    Loki Well-Known Member

    You might be functioning as an unpaid dance host, which can be a valuable commodity to have on hand, especially if the gender ratio is skewed. Thus you will be treated well so you stick around.
  3. PaulBunyon

    PaulBunyon Active Member

    Making you feel welcome, special, a praise worthy is somewhat part of the job description. You may find that even the old married guy is made to feel special. Also, I am not knocking the practice. My financial planner makes me feel special, like I am the only one whose money he cares about, he praises me for making sound and practical financial choices. I am not his richest client by any means, but never the less, he seems to put in an extra effort for me. That said, I suspect he doesn't, he treats everyone as special.
    RiseNFall and IndyLady like this.
  4. Requiem

    Requiem Member

    I think you're overthinking things. I often ask people how they are doing, especially if they're new, and every time I dance with someone I try to say encouraging words. I didn't start that long ago, and still remember clearly how much it helped me to feel welcome at that time.

    It's very common to try to encourage new dancers, whether or not there's a monetary benefit. Especially new leads, because it can be particularly daunting, and because there's usually a dearth of leaders. I've also found that teachers like to spend more time with people who catch on more quickly, because it's just more fun and rewarding. This often, but not always, means younger people.
    IndyLady likes this.
  5. MaggieMoves

    MaggieMoves Well-Known Member

    Encouragement is better than being outright avoided. I know of one expert lead that goes to a studio social near his house every now and then - and he's stopped going since they don't make him feel welcome. He's only one of about 3 leaders at that studio... making it more than 90 percent women.

    A lot of studios have a real shortage of leaders, so there definitely is some extra encouragement there to keep you. Don't let it turn you away... it's just to avoid situations where you have 9 women for every 1 man at the studio. Even with instructors there, it's still a largely unbalanced ratio.
    IndyLady and Requiem like this.

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